The worst day of my vacation

August 6th
Coming here one thing I was really excited about was Thai food. So far it hasn't been able to stay down. Right now the culprit looks to be Tiger Beer as its the only thing I've consumed both days here. Either way I'm watching what I'm eating and carrying indigestion pills with me 24/7.
There were some really good Mexican tacos I had for dinner along with a Tiger Beer and some half-decent margaritas (they don't hold a torch to the family recipe).

I didn't have great experiences with Thais today either:

I bought two Groovy Maps at the airport, one for Chiang Mai and the other for Bangkok. These maps are really cool they list tons of groovy places to eat, shop, sleep, explore, dance, drink and relax. They also pride themselves on the facts that the maps are waterproof, can't be ripped, and don't require a battery. After playing ball hockey in Toms the night before I really felt the knots and pains in my feet and decided to get a foot massage. One place on Groovy maps, called Best Spa, was near by my guesthouse so I walked over there. It wasn't there but there was a place across the road from where the spa should have been with the same prices for everything. I figured it had run them out of business so it must be even better!

Wrong. I went in and asked for a foot massage and I got one from this middle-aged woman. She scrubbed my feet first then got into the massage. For about ten minutes we were in complete silence. Obviously coming to Thailand you hear the rumors that if you fall asleep a 200 Baht massage of any kind can turn into a 600 Baht hand-job. I thought nothing of it initially, the parlor looked clean and not the least bit shady. Until she started shoving my feet into her boobs. It seemed pretty innocent and I pretended like it wasn't happening and doing my best to avoid eye contact. It got progressively worse when she started working my legs all the way to the inner thigh (cause that's a very important part of your feet).

Somewhere before that though we talked a little and I found out this woman has been a masseuse for a measly two months. Before that she was a farmer. This made a lot of sense because after my massage I didn't feel much better and I could still feel the knots in my right foot. This was a learning experience: Don't just dip into any place for food or massages. Your inn keepers will know the best places in the city or the area for what ever you're looking to do.

The next inconvenience was getting a tuk-tuk to my friend's condo. I asked one driver if he knew where it was showing him the address on a sheet of paper. He nodded, took the paper, then went to another driver to ask something, then asked the security guard wandering around. I looked at him and asked for the paper back, he gave that universal gesture "hang on a minute" and went into the bank. He came out and said "Oh Huay Kaew" as if he had just discovered what I had written on the page handing it back to me, "150 Baht," he said. The day before I went there for 100 and I stuck to my guns said no and started to walk up the street. This dope decides to grab my arm, "OK 100 Baht," and hauls me toward his cart. At this point I don't care that he has wasted at least 10 minutes of my time figuring out where I want to go so I comply because he's the size of John Goodman and he's got a hold of my bicep.
When we got into the tuk-tuk we drove a different way than the night before and then I saw the apartment on the other side of the road and waited for him to do a U-turn. He was in the left lane for a very long time (remember left side drivers) and I was at the point of just jumping out and walking back. I didn't think that was super safe so I told him to pull over and paid him a generous 60 Baht for getting me relatively closer than I was to start with.
After arriving just before it started to rain I vented to my friend about the driver and he introduced me to the "cashew brain." Realistically Thailand is a country that rides on tourism and natural resources for income. Nothing is made here except t-shirts which you can rip in half with one hand because most don't have collars. The reason behind this is quite simply that Thais are not the sharpest tools in the shed hence the term "cashew brain".

Example: In CM there is a week long water fight in the moat surrounding the old city. As a resident you have two choices lock and load two Supersoakers and get ready to party; or stock up on food and movies and don't leave your house for a week. The idea alone of this event is stupid and the length makes it even stupider. My friend told me 30 people died in the last one. You'd think a lot of them them just got too drunk and drowned in the moat. That'd be a good assumption but the moat is 3 feet deep. Thirty people can't die in a week unless there's something missing upstairs when the only hazard is a moat three feet deep and a gradual decline into said moat. So when you go to Thailand and you encounter a problem you will need to solve it yourself, customer and tourist services are slow and or useless.

After laughing about this ridiculous event we went out to dinner with another friend from teachers college to a Mexican restaurant called Miguel's. The food was really good and so were the margaritas, they just weren't the best. Chicken nachos were good. Chicken Enchiladas were really good. Beef tacos was a little off and that triggered a literal tidal wave of stuff. We spent hours toasting to the hilarity of our year at teacher's college together. It's amazing to think we were all there in April 2012 which seems like eons ago. I'm happy so much has happened since then; that year was the beginning of my adventure into Asia and life itself. If I didn't get food poisoning it would have been a great way to end a crumby day, but that didn't happen. STAY AWAY FROM BEEF IN THAILAND. The only exception is Mike's Burgers and all commercial fast food places.
 
            

First Night In Chiang Mai: The Good and the Bad

Bad news first:

- Well I was striken with food poisoning. I think it was the spoiled food on the train. Or running myself stupid and drinking more beer than water. 

- The heat is crazy hot but its dry and there's no humidity which makes live slightly more tolerable. 

- I'm sleeping in a tent that's too small for me. Very bizarre.

Good news:

- I met my friend from teacher's college after I got settled in and went to his place. He lives in what they call a Condotel so he has the option of laundry and cleaning service for his condo. His place is beautiful and its got a balcony which is unheard of in Korea because of all those jumpers. It's hardwood floor, with queen size bed, and a stellar view; I'd move out there just to get a place like that because its peanuts in comparison to a shoe box anywhere in the GTA. We even have the same apartment number! We're kindred spirits I tell you.   

- Then we went out and played ball hockey with his buddies. There're surprisingly a lot of Finnish people here too. To make teams both fair and interesting we played Canadians vs. Finns. One guy on the other team didn't speak a word of English the whole time. I haven't sweat like that since Ultimate (three weeks until the new season!) Canada won 16-15 coming back from 5-11.

- Chiang Mai is a lot like Busan in the sense that it's aesthetically the prettiest city in the country and, as a fantastic result, has the most beautiful people too. I'd say 50% of the people were foreigners in the city of 150,000. But then again I might have been looking in all the tourist spots. Chiang Mai also has good number of post-secondary institutions, like Busan, as well. The duo that run the guesthouse I stayed in told me there are more tourists here than in Bangkok, I doubt that but they probably stay in CM a lot longer. 

Like any good vacation so far the good is trumping the bad like Michael Moore over the Bush Administration. 

First Impressions of Thailand

Just a little foreword: I've kept a journal for my travels in Thailand so these posts will be written in a day-by-day sequence.

I've realized some interesting things despite only being in Thailand for less than 24 hours:
- I didn't notice it until I looked into a car because most roads are one-way, bikes and scooter are also very common, but Thais drive on the left side of the road.
- The most modern thing in Thailand is the Airport in Bangkok. It makes everything else in this country look dilapidated. To be fair, lots of stuff is run down especially in Bangkok.
- Bathrooms are few and far between. Public ones cost money (1 or 2 Baht) to use. Better off sneaking in and out of a coffee shop. They're much nicer too.
- Toilet paper here is way softer than in the Pu Dong Airport in Shanghai. I thought about blogging about my impressions of China but it wouldn't be nice.
- There are a few Subway Restaurants in Korea, all of them are located in Seoul. When I went there one weekend it was closed when I got there (!?) so I've gone almost a year without a quality sub. That changed in the airport. I smelled something so good and I walked towards the Thai restaurant in the basement of the airport, but the smell wasn't there. It was the Subway bread next to it. I got a steak and cheese with bacon too, and black olives. Great way to start an adventure.
- Thai food is still amazing though.
- I took a sleeper train up to Chiang Mai and if you're a patient person I recommend going that route the rolling hills and mountains are gorgeous. They say it takes 14 hours but mine took 17 there and 16 back
- The fields look undisturbed but then you see a shiny new Chevy pick-up driving across them.
- Buddha's almost everywhere you go which is very different from Korea. Same goes with monks.
- All of the meals that didn't result in food poisoning were amazing and the ones that made me hug the throne were still decent.
- If you're going to get food on the train buy it the first time the waiter walks by, or else you're going to eat sun-beaten food that's a different type of warm (food poisoning occurrence number one).
- On that note stick to chicken and pork when travelling in Thailand. After looking at the cows roaming beside the train tracks there's a reason the beef is questionable (food poisoning occurrence number two.)
- I've been in Thailand for about 24 hours now and it's felt much longer. There is only one railroad going up to Chiang Mai so we have to park at stations so there aren't any collisions. These stops can take anywhere from 5 minutes to 45 minutes. In the heat of the morning it's brutal. The train goes 50km/h max, and max doesn't happen that often.

This is the first thing I saw coming into the airport.

This is a wat (temple) that is near the train Station in Bangkok.

This is an apartment complex around the Be Bo Market.

Here's a view from the train up to Chiang Mai. 

 

Sunday Sunday Sunday!!!!!! : Ansan Part 3

Just a weather update the rain came down in buckets during the night and early morning. Everything was wet by 8am and it made the morning pretty eventful laying everything out and wringing out the rest. It brought me back to the days of camping with my extended family and the unforgettable memories we share ("Did you say pass the porn!?").  

The festival holds true to the saying "save the best for last" and they certainly did. The afternoon was really solid: a bluegrass Korean band, Romantic Punch and Yellowcard.

The bluegrass Korean band was awesome. While they played we just threw the Frisbee around in ear shot and had a couple drinks. Then we floated over to Romantic Punch. I had no clue what to expect but the band was awesome. The lead singer dressed like Steven Tyler and had collagen lips like Mick Jagger. His stage persona was not Korean he acted like a party animal. The band had everything, crazy dancing lead singer, hottie on the bass, cool instrumentalists, long hair and some solid solos mixed in. Yellowcard was the last band I wanted to see in the afternoon and they played a great show. These guys rode the fame of Ocean Avenue (an album that's been out for 10 years, makes you feel old now doesn't it?) and some of the guys haven't really worked out in a while. The lead guitarist recorded the verse and chorus after playing it one time and then stepped to the side (still in plain site though) and toweled himself down. The oddest instrumentalist of my teen years, Yellowcard's electronic violinist, tried to say something in Korea but failed miserably. That tiny mistake was treated with laughs and was the only dip in their show. It was a really cool to hear songs that were around when MuchMusic played music videos before Video on Trial. After we grabbed some food we went into the evening to see some great, great shows.

Steve Vai - This guy just shreds and that's all he did. The road had aged him a little bit but he had these really silly faces while he played. Not John Mayer silly but a surprised face thinking "Wow I can't believe that worked."

FUN - This band lived on the echo from the audience and did maybe 5 "Oh Oh Oh"s in a hour set. Their album was on the plane to Korea and I listened to it twice because it's just great. Surprisingly I still knew a lot of the words to their songs and it hit me that I've been here for almost a year, the fact washed over me when they played "Carry on." The band was so, for lack of a better word, fun to watch they had an unreal amount of energy and the crowd was bumping almost as much as Skrillex. They covered the Stones "You can't always get what you want" with a horn in it and it was amazing.

Coheed and Cambria - I have to make a special shout out to Rock Band for introducing me to this band. C&C is a band I will see live every chance I get. The lead singer is such a spark plug he could play on an empty stage for an hour and you wouldn't be bored. He does runs with his guitar like a cartoon across the front of the stage and its the one guitar move I want to master now before I die. They closed with "Welcome Home" and it was so much better than the version I played with my friends. 

Foals -  I had never heard of this band and two people were in a debate about what two bands combined would exemplify the Foals. I listened to the band intently for the 75-minute set and tried to think of my own and the descriptions just sound awfully awkward (mellow Avenged Sevenfold?). They were very guitar dominant band and the sound was really clean. I enjoyed listening but like The Cure I'd just buy the album because they don't have much of a stage presence.     

NIN - The opening was amazing and so was the rest of what I saw. Our bus left at midnight so we started leaving at 11:30 to get to the meeting place. Trent Reznor has proven his music prowess to me, and his stage presence is unbelievable for such a stout little guy. The band put on a wicked rocking set. A buddy told me that when he heard about the Nine Inch Nails he thought they'd be too heavy, I said the same and then I got into Eminem. Now, standing there in the presence of 90's rock gods I felt very stupid. 

Overall this weekend is Top Ten lifetime for me. I don't know what number one would be but Ansan is really up there.  I'm going again without a doubt unless the Cure is coming back and I can rope the same core of people too along with other cool, awesome people. While we were leaving they set off some really cheap fireworks.Cheap in the sense that the casing shot everywhere too, there were pieces of singed cardboard bigger than a smart phone flying in the air. I guess that's their strategy for clearing out the crowds. There were few disappointments and loads of surprises in this little isle of paradise.

Is it July 2014 yet?   

Experiencing some Korean Rock'n'Roll ft Hungover Poetry

Thoughts so far

Sleep was good but I wish it was longer.

Max Beer's slogan here is "The climax of rich taste."

Bull shit.

At dawn the park is empty.

You see some employees and balloons floating in the sky.

The moon is still out it looks as smooth as a bingo chip.

Never mind

I think I just saw an eclipse because now it's definitely the sun.

Third glance, I'm just crazy.

I was told on a facebook feed that they don't allow aerosol cans on the premise.

I don't have bug spray or deodorant.

I'd kill for both of them right now,

And a pizza.

Saturday showcased a lot of Korean bands. Most of them were pretty good, however, one was horrible. This terrible band was PIA and they stunk. After performing a few scream-o songs they covered "Beat it." This was the point where they went belly up. There was no back-up voice in the chorus, and no crazy solo either. We left the show early.

The final 3 bands were on the same stage so we got a spot and chilled there for the first set which was a band, called NELL, that I remember nothing about except making allusions to Jodie Foster character in Nell.

The big names of the evening were Stereophonics and Skrillex. They performed back to back. It was a very interesting transition. Stereophonics was very laid back, wore a lot of leather and put on a nice show. I had never heard of them and mistook them from Stereogram which I think would have been a little bit of an upgrade. 

I'm not a techno guy or whatever Skrillex plays but being in the middle of hundreds of people dancing around you can't help but feel the music go through you, maaan. Live changing. The video accompaniment to his music was hilarious and at some points hilariously Korean. He had a great show and started the trend of the audience echoing the singer. Regardless Skirllex lit the metaphorical roof on fire that night. At the end of the performance he came out with a Korean flag around his shoulders and praised the audience. I don't know what Koreans would think of a foreigner doing this but I wouldn't be surprised if there were some uptight folk who didn't approve. The night carried on in this fancy club where all the drinks had at least one part red bull. 

Eventually the rain started pouring and we called it a night. Too bad the rain didn't follow suit. 

Camp Update

We did a word search with a meat and dairy theme to start the day and then I defined new words like mutton, venison, veal and certain types of cheese and showed them pictures too. After that we watched a clip from Epic Meal Time where they made an excellent looking sandwich. Because the immensity of the super swine submarine sandwich is so profound we made our own sandwiches and the campers labelled what they but inside. The even layers the guys managed to get made it a really good example of what I wanted the kids to make. Some did really well others weren't motivated at all. I only have a few of the photos because some kids wanted to bring the home with them.

... the sad part is he wasn't the first one done. 

 

Muddy Feet: Ansan Part 1

I got on the bus to Ansan at 12:30 leaving summer camp early just to make it. Friends had already left and had tents set up for when myself and another Ultimate traveler got to Ansan. The bus took 7 hours to get up to entrance of the entrance to the concert. Unlike the party bus to Mudfest nothing happened on this bus. We hopped out grabbed our packs and walked ten minutes in the humid fog to get to the ticket booths. Once the wristband was on, we set out for the grounds.

This was the best way to walk towards a rock festival you could imagine. The road down to the grounds was a straight asphalt path with marshland on either side. There were buildings on one side but the fog covered up the civilization I was leaving for the next 2 and a half days. On the other side there were wind mills. Since the sun had set there was pink neon trim on the blades, contrasting with the lush greens and the steely fog of the marsh. The fact the XX was playing too made the journey down all the more surreal. When we arrived we threw our stuff into a bag check and went out to search for our friends at the XX. I was surprised how quickly we found them. Listening to the tranquil broken ballads of the XX put me at even more ease now that I had arrived. After the show ended we went on to go see the Cure who had a 3 hour set.

I was really bummed that I missed Vampire Weekend, one of my favorite bands at the moment and apparently they blew the show out of the water along with a band called Polyphonic Spree. Thankfully no one brought their performance until I had my own socks blown off Saturday.

To be honest I thought the Cure wasn't a half decent band and offering them a 3 hour set was the dumbest thing in the world. Here are the bullets.

• Robert Smith looks like shit: He's fattened up big time and looks like he's lived in a swamp for a while. His hair is just a thin stringy mess and he had some really emo/ ajuma garb on (loose black something other with sequins) and messy lip stick. At first glance I thought Marilyn Manson was up there melting. 
• Maybe I'm not a connoisseur of their genre but when they started playing a new song I thought "Oh, I've heard this song before, no, wait, this sounds slightly different." For all of the songs I listened to intently.  
• No one on stage made any attempt at communicating to the audience. It made the experience almost unmentionable.

While this snooze fest was going on this is what happened in no particular order:

• Got a foot rub from a stranger.
• Tested out a cheesy pick-up line, which could have worked (details later).
• Drank copious beers and some high-class water bottle rum.
• Met new and exciting people. 
• Learned new things (Don't watch The Cure live: buy an album instead)
• Blankets and tarps are amazing at concerts, especially after heavy rains.

The weather was just overcast on Friday according to the weather report but it had rained the past couple days in the Greater Seoul Area. As a result the grass was really muddy and it had coated my shoes by the end of the night. After The Cure, we stumbled back to the tents to drop off our things. This was the moment where the festival started to feel like a festival. I took my shoes off and didn't wear anything on my feet until I got off of the grounds Sunday night. Back to the mud, it was way better quality mud than the pasty grey Mudfest-mud. Glass bottles and metal cans were not allowed on the grounds except red bulls with the staff poured them into cups and threw out the cans. Everything else was plastic so there was no threat to my feet apart from rocks and some loose gravel here and there.

We went back and saw some really up and at'em Korean bands that brought me back to the teenage years where Green Day, SUM 41 and Blink 182 CDs owned my ghetto blaster. At some unspecified time I went to bed peacefully waiting for the next day of madness.