A Korean Wedding

The Korean Wedding

Last Saturday I went to a Korean wedding. My friend's former co-teacher was tying the knot and myself and another mutual friend were invited to come. It was being held in the morning about an hour away from where I live in a conference center. I found out about a week before and told my co-teachers. They were excited and I asked them what to bring. They said money. That's easy. They asked what I'd bring to a wedding at home. I said home appliances... and then they just started listing all the housewares they knew in English. It was probably the most involved I've been in a conversation at lunch since my first day back from the hospital.

I really wanted to go to a wedding just to watch it unfold and hopefully see standard Korean groomsman etiquette but there were no groomsman or bridesmaids at this wedding. PS I'll be in a wedding on May 18 2014. So jacked! But yes, coming here to see a wedding was important to watch the process to avoid messing up the wedding I'm in. Stand still and don't talk, that's all I need to do from the looks of it.

When we got there we got in a line to pass on our wedding gift, a card and money. The people before us just handed over fistfuls of cash and the guy at the desk asked for their names, wrote it in the guest book, and stuffed the money into a standard envelope. There were middle-aged men standing against a wall and kids running around with action toys in their hands and ladies talking to laaaaadies. It felt the same as any other wedding except this time I wasn't some tag-along, I was personally invited. In typical Korean fashion there was no place to put your coat and I was stuck wearing a black overcoat over a navy blue suit. Being the only non-Koreans in sight we decided to stand and watch the wedding from afar. After the ceremony the photographers took over and had pictures with the bride's family, husband's family, extended family, and finally the friends. Since there were no other white people in the photo my friend and I decided to stay in the audience. The bride waved us up urgently I thought she would have popped a button on her dress. It was a really special experience to be in a wedding photo especially when you're 50% of the caucasian population.

I feel like this was different from other K-weddings I've heard about but maybe not:

- The groom sang a very loving song.
- Then the groom and MC did a goofy song and dance in front of the bride.
- They walk down the aisle and then kissed.
-  There was a row of seats that couldn't see the altar because of a pillar so they had mounted a screen off to the side filming the wedding. It was cool because you could see the bride and groom impatiently smiling at the minister. It really captured the excitement on their faces.

Some of the things I've heard from other Korean weddings that held true to my experience 

- Everyone can talk or walk around the entire process.
- From that first bullet you'd think it's a long service but they're usually half an hour or less.
- A smorgasbord of lights and effects.
- A friend is chosen by the bride and she's the one who gets the brides bouquet. There is no chaotic fight for it. I could imagine that being either very aggressive or an enormous debate while the flowers dirty themselves on the floor.

Food

Once the pictures were done, the bride, our friend's old co-teacher, asked us if we had our meal tickets. Obviously we didn't because we don't know any customs and the groom ended up getting them for us. I felt so guilty, it being his wedding day and all, but by the time we made it up stairs to the buffet seats were few and far between so we did some rearranging and got to sit with another set of foreigners. We gabbed about the bride and groom and how we've known them, then ate and ate and ate. Like most buffets in Korea there would delicious things, things I wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole, pleasant surprises and unpleasant surprises. Korea has this urge to deep-fry things and when you don't know what the menu cards says, or its in Konglish there's a big risk-reward gap. The best personal discovery was Persimmon Punch which was basically liquid cinnamon. Yum. Full from salads, soups, meat, and an assortment of deep-fried studs, spuds, and duds I filled up just in time to see the bride and groom come in with their hanboks and wish them a happy healthy marriage.

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*Also every Korean honeymoon is in Cancun and I always give the same advice my uncle gave me: "Dos cervesas por favor."