I had an Idea, then it Spun outta Control. Here it ... is.

I have a checkout date and that feels weird. Now that I know the things I need to do when I open the door to my apartment: throw out food, clean (maybe), dust (efff that), there are probably dishes, sort mail, laundry, take out the trash, then buy and make food. Okay, part of me is really excited about food but for the past two weeks and change I have had get to the bathroom on my own, and clean chopsticks and a spoon. The vacation is over, and I'm antsy about the bill as well as the trip back into being an adult. Then come Monday there's this thing I have called a job. Hell, I can't even remember what my office looks like. In the end it'll be nice to get back to work and see all the teachers and kids. With all of these things comes one thing I haven't missed at all, eye-gouging stress.

There's been a bulwark in the hospital from certain aspects of Korea that I loathe. I haven't dealt with scooter-riding turds weaving from the road to the sidewalk and back. My supremely anal teacher has not asked me to do anything in over a month which feels more like a year. The routine is so simple here that both the nurses and I manage to get by with the marginal English and Korean crossover we share (although I'm sure both of us use a translation generator before speaking to one another). Also, no one would push past an injured person on the subway or an escalator. Hospitals showcase hospitality and outside there isn't a lot of hospitality in the hustle-bustle of a Korean workday... which is everyday. Either way, when you're insincerely pushed off-stride, told to do something last minute, calming a screaming child that doesn't understand you, or just trying to solve an issue can't hop over the language barrier life gets frustrating little by little until the weekend rolls around. This is when the watering holes fill up and people rant, dance, and guzzle until all the weight of the week slides off your shoulders and you're back to the care-free days of an undergrad .

Since I've been off the front lines for a long time and coming back in the middle of the semester I don't have time to smell the roses. The second I walk in those doors I'm one lesson behind and have an hour to solve the problem. I'm already anticipating a cold Cafri just thinking about Monday. In the end, when the going gets to be too much the bottle's my alleviate. That's what scares me. My parents have warned me about my alcoholic family members and the belief its genetic, and that was a good scare tactic until I read A Million Little Pieces. Despite all the controversy around it, a story is a story; anyone can salvage a lesson out of fiction. What I got out of Frey's novel was that you are in charge of your own life, genetic weaknesses or not just a mentality with stuff like that. I'm slowly learning this isn't the case all the time (E.g. my current situation). But when you fall off a horse, or a wagon, you get back on again or you can mope and complain about it. Plain and simple, your actions reflect your choices not some higher power or voodoo magic.  

When I step out of this hospital its a different ball game. Not because my arm is out of commission but I feel wiser than I was before and have a lot of empathy for the injured. Being isolated in a hospital as an anomaly is an experience I never want to experience again. How I play ultimate will change. When Boody Miles ruined his knee in Friday Night Lights he came back and wasn't confident playing his best on it and then became a regular Joe in two plays. Same here, Boody, if I fall on my left side, I wouldn't feel confident putting my arm out to brace myself let alone lean on it. The road to recovery will be a long one. The road to regaining confidence will be even longer. I started this blog to talk about how life makes me drink for all sorts of reasons but now that doesn't seem as important. Mind you drinking with this will be a bad idea because drunk "logic" can go like this. I won't turn myself into an alcoholic escapist because I will make life fun, stress-free, and without vices. If another curveball comes my way I'll just take a step out of the batter's box, have couple deep breathes, then go back in and try to hit it out of the park.

... Since I made a few baseball references...
Dodgers beat the Red Sox in 5*

* I don't watch baseball.