Riding the Hair of the Dog

Riding the high of dog hair here are unedited and regrettable(but permanent) New Year's resolutions:

Renew:
I love where I live, and I dread the idea of looking for a job back home. Thus, I'm motivating myself to the bitter end to run everything, provide the best I can offer to my school and its prodigies. Its at teh point where I think I need Korea more than it needs me. Silly drunk talk, Korea needs me, but I need this too. Ultimately, I will begin processes ASAP and sell myself like a ho-for-sho. This is my first resolution because this needs to happen before anything else.

Parlez-vous Francais ou Franglais?
Let's hope so! I'll get a French as a Second Language Adavnce Qualification so maybe I won't need Korea for my whole life. As a bilingual Canadian I'm pretty integral for school boards as they teach the new Latin. I remember leaving high school and being all efffff French never taking you again, but now I miss it. I've been trying to think in French and I can still do that so I feel that I can wrap my head around teaching it too. The grammar is intense, as are the 'accords' as zee French say, but I think that's an aspect of the language I find really fascinating, and delicate.

Stable Stacy:
That will be the name of my Korean guitar, I don't care where I find it, or how it lands in my hands, I want a Guitar to call my own. It will happen before the end of the January, once I get back from the 'pines. And her name shall be Stable Stacy, she will maintain my sanity, I'm sick of watching Netflix with idle hands. Its either a guitar or I learn how to knit, something's gotta give though.

Bring it:
I feel I've been lethargic off the bottle and I think I make up for it when I'm on it. This is obviously a problem I need to address. Since I'm slurping the final drops of the infamous bottle, hearing the stories that have left my memory then laughing and hanging my head (apparently I ate more than one coaster last night). I haven't been able to stay off it for more than 6 days at the most since I've landed here but I plan to stock my fridge with juices and other non-alcoholic products. Sorry I know you're not a shrink. I'll bring the best of me 12 hours prior to when I usually do.

Happy New Year peoples of Earth!!
May 2013 bring you lots of ..... stuff, good stuff

Oh yeah, I'll aim for 9+ blogs a month to break 100 for the year. Keep me on your tabs, hopefully I don't break

Airports

To be honest, I hate flying. I'm never comfortable, the food portions are for toddlers, the stupid airline safety presentation I've memorized, (the fact that its two languages back home is even more aggravating, there isn't a soul who only speaks French in Canada) and sometimes you're waiting so long your clothes go out of style. Books and games on your phone help, but it only takes you so far. There are a lot of precautions, I understand that, and there's no harm in being careful so I'm happy about that. But one day I'm pulling aGreg Focker hassling pompous flight attendants and say some red flag words 8,000 times. This adventure though was by far the most frustrating thing I have ever dealt with in terms of airports.

Yesterday a friend since high school flew from Edinburgh, Scotland to London, England, to Incheon (a suburb of Seoul) and then to Busan for his winter vacation. His itinerary said his plane arrived in Busan at 6. Now in Busan there are two airports, one is for domestic and one is for international flights. I walked into the domestic airport first and inquired if a plane is coming from Seoul  where would it land. through broken English he explained that Incheon flights will land in the international airport, while flights from Gimpo, the domestic airport in Seoul will come here. I walk over to the international airport and continue reading my book.

Sidebar:

This is one of the slowest books I've read in my life. And I’ve read Dickens. Maybe I'm just not sold on the characters but the book is called Junk and they have just started doing Heroin half way through. Honestly Burgess, get it together, if Gemma could she'd have popped that needle in her the second she got off the coach she's such a mental case. Believe me, I've met a number of people living vicariously through her. She's just a little faster.

As time drew on and people began coming out of baggage claim I was expecting my friend to be one of the first because he absolutely hates waiting and will hustle his way through most processes. I waited and waited until the Incheon flight disappeared of the screen. He was nowhere to be found. Did I read his itinerary right?  I paced through the whole arrival section. Nowhere. Looking at the board there was another flight from Incheon for 8:20, an hour away. I knew I couldn't go back home so I ate some shitty chicken looking at the doors from baggage claim the entire time. Still nothing. I was sure he was supposed to be here for 6. I went to find the internet cafe and checked my emails. 3 new messages, all from him. 

I've been at the airport for almost an hour, where the fuck are you?

That was sent 2 hours ago. Yikes. I emailed him my phone number and told him to call me. Obviously his phone from Scotland doesn't have reception so he was calling me from a information booth. I set up a meeting point and he agreed. I waited there for 15 minutes with my cell phone in my hand waiting for the next call. He definitely wasn't in this building. Then at the other end I see his long stride and bright blue gym bag.

"I was in the domestic airport"

"What?"

"It’s a long story."

"Wanna beer?"

"I'd love one."

It certainly was: the gist of it was his connecting flight from Incheon to Busan apparently didn't exist so they sent him to the Gimpo airport on a shuttle bus where he arrived twenty minutes before the flight. Gimpo is the domestic airport in Seoul, and he landed in the Domestic Airport in Busan. Thankfully, the airports are right next to each other. Now, all that matters is he made it here in one piece here and I get a roommate for the next week and a half. We both had stressful days and concluded it with some Korean BBQ and Bavarian beers in the fine district of KSU. This series of events are very bizarre and somewhat unbelievable, so unbelievable you would think it would never happen! 

All and all airports suck.

As I introduced him to people from my orientation they all asked, "How was your flight?" because it was so frustrating we alternated telling the story. Its a good thing emails exist or else this could have been the worst experience of his life, next time someone visits I'll be sure to brief them "that anything can happen, so call when it does." Jet lag and all, it is good to have an old friend down here for the holidays. 

Happy Holidays Everyone!  

They always hit a soft spot.

Although I have no school today since everyone gets the day off to go and vote in the Presidential election, I miss my office, the teachers, the children and the drive to do some actual work.

So here's something from the heart, or, to be clever, the brain. As the school year winds down in Korea and winter break is only two days away, lessons have been becoming less and less like academic lessons. My CT wanted a movie that was easy to understand, educational and interesting ranking in that order. Since all the movies I was allowed to pick were Disney or Pixar from the twenty first century, I explained that I will pick a morally educating film. I decided to show the kids a segment of Toy Story 3 accompanied with a list of comprehension questions and new vocabulary to define in Korean and write out (you'd be surprised how many misspell these words or colloquialisms even though they're written on the page).

The segment I selected was near the end of the film where - spoiler alert - the toys travel through a garbage dump and nearly meet their demise before they are saved by the Pizza Planet Aliens. For the record, Toy Story  was one of my favourite movies growing up and even with the reasonably low expectations I had for other Disney sequels I couldn't help but believe that Hanks wouldn't lend his talents to a stinker. Fortunately I was right. Even after watching the same mise-en-scene of Rex, Mr. and Ms. Potatohead, Bullseye, Ham, Slink, Jessie, Buzz and Woody all holding hands in a circle, waiting to burn away, it always hits me. This moment of togetherness is just really touching to me. Seeing this moment almost puts me back to watching Toy Story on VHS on a television with knobs and no remote. Happy times, when life was simple, apart from having to hang-up your phone before you could use the internet.

However, these kids obviously have a much more detached relationship to Woody and the gang. As they watch there's no sense of enthrallment or worry, just some back row commentary. One of the baseball players at my school got a little watery-eyed which made me smile. Having to teach one lesson 9 times is a little irritating but watching this action packed exert will make the final 2 days zoom by. And if I get bored (not likely) I think I'll just read to myself at the front of the room (Junk by Melvin Burgess, not bad so far).       

(Trying something new) Fumes

For this little mission I'm tapping into my inner Cormac McCarthy, author of The Road.

Friday morning was just like every morning. Easy and bleak. Hit the snooze button the maximum number of times then get up. The waygook looked out his east facing window. Darkness. This was new. After showering it was still dark. He turned the light on in the morning for the first time since he'd been there. The waygook ate quietly, got dressed, brushed his teeth, turned the light off, and left.

The waygook moved slowly to the elevator, tying his shoes as he waited. Going down in the elevator the waygook adjusted his tie but it never made a difference. He needed a new tie, but didnt care enough at this point. The tank was running low.

The waygook stopped at an empty coffee joint. He was familiar with the proceeding. But yet again, today was different.
     Drip or americano?
     Drip, the waygook said unsure of himself.
He didnt question it while mixing in the milk in. The first taste was horrible. A patch of pure bitterness sat on his tongue. The next sip was tepid water. He contemplated pouring it out but new this was his energy for the morning. Perhaps the day.

The waygook managed to get a seat on the subway and started reading the tail-end of his book. His uneasiness for the characters kept him turning the pages. After he got out from the underground the sky was still just as bleak and grey. The air was still getting warmer. The waygook felt as though he were walking down the same road as his characters. He didnt have to breath in ashes though. Patting his chest he realized what he had forgotten. The key to his easy day. He could picture the USB drive sitting on his table. The waygook contemplated taking a taxi home to get it. Walking into the courtyard snipped the progress of idea to action. He was already late.

With a long sigh the waygook marched inside dropped his things onto an empty chair and marched upstairs to the specialists office. While walking he was contemplating methods to hide the fact he had nothing prepared or present. Jeopardy he thought. He knew it was the only way. Sitting at his desk waiting for the computer to warm up he sketched the categories, the questions, the answers. It was all there. Now the waygook needed his ancient computer to cooperate. Closing the messenger that enrages him everyday. The computer picked up the pace. The waygook copied and pasted his pictures, questions and answers as he had planned with no set backs. He had 15 minutes to spare before his first class. Now the waygook needed to send it to the computer in his classroom. Attaching the email took far too long. The first break bell had gone by the time he got to his classroom. Children already at the door.

The children were excited. Drawing all over the chalkboard and whiteboard. Meanwhile rubbing elbows with the waygook. They were transfixed on the big screen connected to the computer watching the waygook frantically typing his way through sign in pages, attachment protocol, and dueling with the infamous Korean option on the keyboard as it reset with every new page. He could have screamed until he was hoarse. He closed his eyes once the game saved to the desktop.

The co-teacher enters right after my entire ordeal. Unaware that the waygook was completely unprepared. Friday was finally on his side.

Every class was off the wall. The waygook and the co-teacher channeled this energy through dance. Turn the  door knob and twist the light bulb to Feliz Navidad. Once lunch arrived the waygook never wanted to hear that song again. There were only fumes in the tank.

The lunch menu was made for a king. Japchae Noodles, a milder kimchi, plain cucumbers, sticky rice, and apple pastries. The waygook barely chewed it. The teacher eating across from the waygook mentioned something.
     It's really raining outside.
     It will stop before 4.
     How do you know?
     I just hope, the waygook said looking up from his food and crossing his fingers.
     Ha ha ha ha.
(Stepping outside Cormac, some Koreans actually laugh like this.)

The afternoon rolled by slowly. The waygook was happy he finished the book but drowsily dipped in and out of the narrative. On the last page he wasnt sure if he understood the final scope of the fictitious world. The waygook left early to go to the bank to pay his bills. There was a way to do it after hours, but he didnt know how. The rain was ever-present when the waygook left the school. Thankfully he always packed an umbrella. The waygook walked on the curbs whenever he could. Eyeing the dry spots on the warped roads. When he got to the bank it was barren. The waygook walked up to the closest clerk who looked at the bill and walked him to the machine, entered his pin, watched her hit a sequence of buttons he couldnt read then the waygook thanked the clerk and left.

When he got on the subway he met one of his friends from the very beginning. She looked almost as tired as him. They agreed a vacation needed to happen soon, certain things are ridiculous in this new country, and a bit of gossip.

When the waygook got off at his stop he walked into his apartment and hung up his winter coat and danced out of his work shirt and tie in the warm air of his apartment. He looked at the time and knew he should return his finished book before dinner. He didn't want his shoes to get wet so he wore flip flops out since the weather was mild enough and put a raincoat over his undershirt. He took his umbrella too.

The walk was 15 minutes but it felt much longer. The incline wasnt significant but the water on the ground running in between the sole of his foot and the flip flop was chilling. Then the waygook caught a snag in the road. Disconnecting the strap from the base of the flip flop. The waygook took half a step and knew he couldnt go on like this. Holding the umbrella in between his neck and shoulder he managed to reconnect the strap to the foot pad. Now he could feel the water on his pants and seeping through his jacket. The umbrella was useless but it was better than nothing.

The trip back from the library consisted of the waygook mapping the outline to his blog entry. The patters on his umbrella slowly became thuds of rain. It was coming down in sheets. His thoughts mostly centered around the name of a narration style he neglected to use, and snippets of images long-forgotten. Once the waygook got to his apartment his pants were stuck to his long johns and his long johns were stuck to his legs. He took off his pants, coat and long underwear and laid them on the drying rack.

Now the waygook sits eyes half open giving a half-there stare at his laptop. His fingers are slowing down. He knows the piece needs editing but that can come later. Publish now and fix in the morning. He decides he needs a power nap, or a Red Bull. He choose the Red Bull and went out to play board games and have a couple brews with friends. The waygook caught the subway home and slept soundly until the morning.

TGIF

It's Friday and what a crazy chain of events, all of which are uncorrelated from one another. Either way I'm nearing cloud nine.

Last night, I received a letter in the mail from my father with a card and some tea. Regular tea. Korean tea has herbs, bitter things and ball bearings in the tea-bag. It's not a pleasant morning drink, so I drown it in lemon juice. But today I had regular tea. What a difference that makes! No sourness, just that pleasant Orange Pecot taste. Coming into school, listening to "The Ballad of John and Yoko" I can't help but feel great as I danced through the halls.

For the first class, I was teaching the lesson from the previous day. The first class is one of the low classes. From the start I knew the class would be off the rails. I think I learned 8 things that are excruciatingly important in Teacher's College, one of which is keep your kids in their seat and occupied with something as long as you can, then give them free time after. The first thing my co-teacher does is return the exams they completed yesterday - biggest faux-pas ever. I have never seen a class turn absolutely insane: everyone is running around and shouting, kids are sliding on the floor celebrating a 75 while the genius hold back there tears, hit themselves in the head with books, and scream with anger looking at their 90. I look at my co-teacher while this is happening and she's onto marking the next set of exams. So as I jam my whole body into this crumbling dam literally placing children in their seats one at a time, we manage to get the lesson rolling. Next, one student at the back, who has very poor speaking skills is reading a book at the back. I go on as if nothing is wrong. Something was wrong though, apparently seriously wrong, with this blatant act of defiance. My co-teacher methodically marches over to the student's desk at the back of the class; every head follows her until we’re all fixed on the back corner. She grabs the book out of the student’s hands, opens the window, and throws the book out the window into the court yard. The teacher goes on a rampant tangent in Korean, then returns to the lesson as if nothing happened. Crazzzzzy. After the class she explained that this student does this every class and today was the straw to break the camels back. The rest of the lesson went reasonably well, we played Simon says as a cool down and then let the kids out. 

The second class was a lot of fun, they had tons of energy and enthusiasm towards all the games we played and the videos we watched.

Half way through the third class something happened I didn't expect what so ever. Busan is cold but it usually never snows, or so I’m told. And guess what happens, snow. One kid notices and points to the window, "Teacha, SNOW!" That's the first time he's said something in English via his own will, thank goodness for our lesson on weather. Before I knew it no one was at their desk and crowding at the window. It was a very nostalgic moment imagining my young, Korean, self transfixed on the marvel of fluff dropping from the heavens. Then I remembered, I'm the teacher, I have a lesson to teach, and I will stand by this B+ lesson until I die. Unless it snows. I look at the clock, ten minutes left, I look to my co-teacher she shrugs, so, using youtube, we watched a couple of Disney sing-along Christmas carols until the bell rang.

The same process was implanted for the final class of the day. I shortened my lesson to fit in the Christmas Carol time and then everyone was off to lunch. 

Now I'm here blogging away listening to exerts of Conan and the Lonely Island interviews. The heat remains off in my personal office, but today I feel warm and toasty. Maybe its the extra layer but its probably this feeling that the Holidays are fast approaching, no matter how far I am away from all my loved ones I am confident this will be an excellent December. Still, I'm glad all this didn't happen on a Monday. 

TGIF Everybody! 

Seoul Searching

I traveled to the stunning metropolis of Seoul this weekend and I gotta tell ya its pretty cool but I'd never live there. Perhaps that is a little biased, my travelling amigos and I stayed in a lovely hostel in the heart of the clubbing Hongdae district. Having only seen that aspect of the city, I should say I wouldn't live in that area. Amazingly enough we met a groovy Korean guy with connections up the wazoo and excellent English. We volunteered as token foreigners in a web commercial of some kind for Kimchi products, and afterwards he took us out for drinks with the head manager of all Thursday Parties, most of which were free. Swell times. The night life is unreal, and it was solid fun til the sunrise. Not surprisingly there were way more foreigners around, and they were not with the school boards or hagwons. A plethora of hipsters, grease balls, Middle Easterns, and geezers reliving their younger years. Again though, this was the party district. As for the residents, everyone I talked to spoke English to the capability of my co-teachers, but like Toronto, people are too busy to help you out beyond a finger point and some half-assed directions. When we arrived Friday night it was an overwhelming look: bright lights, a ginormous train station, and hordes of people pushing through and slipping by one another. Part of me wishes I got a picture, but

Lookout point into North Korea, at the edge of the photo line.

The following day we headed out to the DMZ (Demilitarized Zone). Met some odd characters described above and then some regular people. Our tour guide was really interesting, knowledgeable and articulate and showed us tons of cool stuff. Including one of the tunnels North Korea dug underneath the DMZ as a means of invasion. Travelling down into the tunnel was a trek and more novel than anything else. In fact the whole trip was just to say "I went to the DMZ." The strictness of the trip was really intimidating, one thing was a lookout into North Korean territory where a photo line was drawn, prohibiting people from taking pictures of this barren land. You might think saying barren has a negative connotation but North Korea doesn't have a single tree because they've all been burnt for fuel and in December the earth is light brown until the mountains which are very dark. It made me very thankful to have grown up in a country that's at peace with its neighbours.

As per usual nights were blurry but fun, the same story in a different city.

This is a picture of a railway that connected North and South Korea through the DMZ. It was built through the sunshine program, which was a program devoted to catching up North Korea's economy. It was pulled when the conservative party was elected in 2002 (or 2007).
Oh yeah! The high point for me was the train ride home, seeing all the cities in between Seoul and Busan and actual animals too. I saw a couple deer but I was to slow/ hungover to snap a pic. But I know animals live in Korea now. Pretty pumped.